Let’s talk rejection - cue the groans and eye rolls I know, but this is going to change your mind about hating rejection! One of the hardest parts of rejection is realizing that it’s inevitable in life - it happens to everybody, regardless of experience level or industry.
None of us want to go out into the world, take risks or give their 100% effort just to get shot down. I had a recent situation where I received some feedback about something I said in a presentation.
I was disappointed in the feedback because it was contrary to what I had heard from multiple other participants. In those situations, we have choices:
- We can disregard those foolish enough to dare say anything we perceive as negative
- We can take feedback into account and aim to do better
- We can continue to beat ourselves up, stay stuck, and never get over it
Although none of us like to hear we didn’t get the account, that we’ve offended someone in our office, that our vendor partner doesn’t like our way of operating, those are moments when we get to go back and look at how we communicated, what the circumstances were, and how we could have handled things differently.
Another difficult result about being rejected is that we can sometimes feel so personally hurt and offended by it.
Remember, take the emotions OUT of rejection. If we can shift our thoughts about rejection and begin seeing it as a way to understand other’s perspectives about us, it can lead to a better self.
And while we should always consider rejection as an opportunity to improve, don’t forget that we are all humans - sometimes the person rejecting you or providing criticism might be having a bad day or have other biases that are causing them to communicate negatively. Ultimately, rejection is an opportunity to self-reflect and consider if you can better yourself either personally or professionally (or both!).
What are you Committed to Create
I often talk about the phrase “committed to create.” It helps me every time I engage in a phone call, leaderboard discussion, speak out with another person or are speaking in a group setting. I ask myself:
“What is the experience or emotion I wish to evoke in the other party?” Keeping this in mind and using only one word adverbs helps keep me focused on what I am really there to communicate and accomplish. It keeps me focused on ways to better get my message across, be mindful of my audience and their needs, and helps me evaluate results after. In short, it is like insurance for rejection!!
By being open to feedback I have learned to become a better listener, a better friend, and a better leader.
Think about this for yourself: If you could only choose one word, what is the one word that you would use in any situation before you interact with another human being?
Whatever it is, be clear about what you are committed to create and things will happen that will help you achieve what you say you wish to accomplish and look at “rejection” with a whole new perspective.